Eleven times! Thus far this YEAR! That is the actual amount of times I went to the YMCA near my neighborhood. My goal was 3 times a week starting in January. That makes me hundreds short of my goal.
I knew it was bad, but I had no idea I was that far off. But I wanted real numbers, so when I went in earlier this week, I took time to ask. “Can you tell me how many times I’ve walked through that door this year?” My friend Marion did a few clicks on a calculator. “11 times, you’ve been here 11 times this year.” Knowing I’m a work out-aholic, it was a stunner. We both stood there wondering if there was some mistake.
But no, I knew.
Have you ever had an off year? I’ll spare you the details, but here’s the gist. A few stressful family situations drained my energy. Those are the hardest for me. Plus, I’m an entrepreneur, running my own business. Most of the time I’m the jack of all trades, doing what needs to be done on any given day. Did I mention my business is a ministry? I’m not sure why I ever thought ministry would be easy. It is not. Publishing a monthly magazine is a constantly moving target, an no day is ever the same. That is part of why I do enjoy the work.
Energy has always been one of my God given gifts. I’m typically full of creativity and productivity. Yet this is the first time I’ve ever slowed down due to health issues. After a visit to my gynecologist I was told I’d need a hysterectomy quickly. Thankfully no disease, but a growth was taking up some serious space and causing major problems. Some other minor issues (including a stress fracture in my foot) and they all added up to my aforementioned epic fail.
There were a few runs, walks and bike rides. But when it comes to comparing a goal to an actual, it’s been an off year to say the least.
Nothing I can do to change it. Just look forward and get back on track. Beating myself up won’t change a thing. I’ve still got 2 1/2 months to make up for lost time, but I’m not even going to try.
In the scheme of things, I’ve learned a lot. Now I enjoy stillness more, crave quiet, and am learning I don’t have to be in a race against myself. I can relax without guilt. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone and I am finally learning to truly relax!
Goals are great. I’m a fan. But when you don’t make them for whatever reason, use the time to learn new skills. You just may learn to slow down and give yourself a break!
Sometimes you have to fail to move forward. Looking back can help the future look brighter, as long as you are learning and growing. Don’t beat yourself up. Get back up and start again!